Over the past few years, I’ve struggled with blogging. (Big surprise to my subscribers.) Not that there weren’t thousands of ideas or things to write about. But something was different. I’d write something and discard it.

Yes, I’ve been busy. Too busy.

Yes, I’ve had deadlines. Which I love.

But I wanted to be real to people – just like I had when I first started blogging eleven or so years ago. Before all the TV hoopla. Before I was a best-selling author. Before people started seeing me as someone famous. I know I’ve written about this kind of thing in previous blogs (trying to explain my absence in some sort of understandable way – you can read those here: http://kimandkaylawoodhouse.com/a-stalker-snow-and-a-superhero/ https://kimberleywoodhouse.com/where-have-you-been/ ), but some things have hit me the past few months.

In case you didn’t know, I was at death’s door this past March. We live in a small community in NE Colorado where we had a terrible fire. It devastated our community. My husband had just been in Haiti on a mission’s trip, and we were in the middle of fire relief. And then one night, after delivering a meal to a family who’d lost everything in the blaze, I went to bed in serious pain. I didn’t even tell my husband, I was so miserable. But by the next morning, I had to tell him and he took me to the emergency room in the closest city. Long story short, after a scan where they found three major problems, the doctor apologized to me that they “couldn’t handle” the situation there and I was taken by ambulance to a hospital two hours away. I didn’t think I would survive the ambulance ride I was in so much pain. But over the course of the next five weeks, I had three big surgeries. Everything has changed for me. Especially since my doctors have informed me that I have to stop being so “Busy.”

But it all didn’t start in March. Tracie came down this past January for a book event we had for our release, In the Shadow of Denali, and she kept telling me I didn’t look like myself. While she was very kind about it, she also knows me. Very well. If you go back several months prior to that, Tracie and I had a book tour in October. I wasn’t 100% then either. Rewind a few more months, and I’d had some very scary situations with iron deficiency. My body just shut down.

Now, it’s May 31, 2017 and I’m recovering. I feel pretty good, actually. But I know I have a long way to go. I know I’m still recovering. And I’m learning a lot. All of those issues are now in the past.

So… what does all that have to do with… deficient?

I think we all feel deficient in some way or another. Dictionary.com defines it like this: lacking some element or characteristic; defective. Or inadequate, insufficient.

So many times we refuse to put ourselves out there because we feel deficient, inadequate, or lacking in some way. We don’t think we have anything to offer because we compare ourselves with everything we see on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, etc. But  Scripture is very clear that we are loved by the Father and precious to Him. That He knew us before we were even born–and we are fearfully and wonderfully made.

So often we feel beat up by the world (or our own perception of ourselves!) or by physical afflictions and yet, He still wants us to be willing vessels to be used for His glory. No matter what state we are in.

A friend of mine spent time with me in the hospital (and since I was in the hospital more than two weeks total– this was a huge help to my sweet hubby!) – I told her when I was home that I didn’t want anyone to know who I was in there. Why? 1 – it’s embarrassing. 2 – who do you know that looks wonderful when they’re in the hospital? I certainly didn’t want to be remembered like that!
[But then another sweet friend let the cat out of the bag the first time I left the hospital after ten long days. I heard from several nurses afterward, “Why didn’t you tell us who you were?”] I told my friend that I just hoped I had been able to shine the love of Jesus. Even all drugged up. Even in horrible pain. Yes, even in embarrassing situations when I didn’t want to be remembered. You see, no matter how deficient I may be physically, no matter how deficient I feel? God is still Almighty God and can use even the most broken and inadequate vessels. Like me. Like you.

Don’t sell yourself short – no matter what stage of life you are currently walking (or crawling, or find yourself face-first down in the mud). Because He who began a good work in you WILL be faithful to complete it. (Philippians 1:6)

Deficient, Inadequate, and Lacking in Colorado…