2019 ACFW Carol Award Winner
A year ago. A Sunday just like today.
My Dad was finally home from the hospital–after several weeks of not-so-much-fun.
Let me back up a little. The Friday before – He just wanted to go home. So in the middle of the night they took him via ambulance–home.
The next day he opened his eyes and saw that yes, he was home. He ate a cookie. Took his meds.
But then his system began to shut down. By Sunday–a year ago–things had declined far past what we’d ever anticipated. My sweet Mom called me not knowing what to do. The Hospice people were there and the news was grave. I digested the information and told Mom I’d call her right back. I sent urgent messages to my siblings that we had to talk immediately.
Mary, Ray, and I spoke on a three-way call and had to make the tough decision. A bed had opened up at a beautiful hospice facility. Did we want it?
Yes.
Yes, we wanted the best for our father who had run his race, he had fought the good fight, and now… well, he was almost done.
A week later–the next Sunday–he went HOME.
It’s amazing to me how swiftly things can change. Life can change in an instant. My perspective and outlook from that Friday to Sunday changed drastically. From joy and relief and elation that he was finally home from the hospital, that I wouldn’t need to talk to the doctors at the hospital every few hours, to realizing Dad was about to leave us here on earth.
It wasn’t what any of us expected.
But Dad had been longing to go to his eternal HOME for a while. He WAS expecting it. He’d been looking forward to it with great anticipation.
To say that grief is a beast is really putting it mildly. And please don’t hear me wrong. I’m ecstatic that my Dad is with his Savior. I’m overjoyed that he no longer has to suffer here. But this grief journey has caught me by surprise. It’s tougher than we think–no matter how prepared or unprepared we might be.
Life. Death.
Logically, we understand it. We see it all around us. We often walk the journey beside a friend or loved one. But do we truly understand it deep down in our hearts?
This gift of life that we are given is short. When we come to the end of it–no matter how many days we’ve been given–it doesn’t seem like enough time. Have we wasted minutes, hours, days, weeks, months, years?
There’s another Friday to Sunday perspective that didn’t just jolt one family like mine. It rocked the entire world. All who had come before and all who are yet to come.
You see, Jesus was crucified on a Friday. By noon, the skies had gone completely dark. Those who had loved Him and followed Him were beyond devastated. What had just happened? This wasn’t the way it was supposed to be… was it?
But oh, Sunday was coming. And on that Sunday – He arose.
He conquered death so that you and I can have life. And not just life here on earth where we get to go home, eat a cookie, and take our meds. No – what HE has to offer us is LIFE. Eternal life. Abundant. Without tears. Without pain. Without trials. Without death.
If you don’t know Jesus – if you don’t understand the story I just shared with you, I hope and pray that you are challenged to go learn more about Him right now. If you have a Bible – please, go read the book of John. If you have access to internet, GotQuestions.org is an amazing place to ask your questions. If you like watching TV – please, go check out The Chosen – it’s a beautifully done series that helps you to see Jesus and who He was, who He is, and what He’s done for you.
Please know that you are loved. And it is His love for you that sent Him to willingly die on that cross – so that you can have LIFE.
When I first started typing up my thoughts here today, I was completely caught up in how my perspective drastically changed from Friday to Sunday last year. From relief to gut-wrenching grief. But I’m here to tell you that there is a Friday to Sunday perspective that’s opposite.
All we have to do is grab onto Jesus. To go from utter darkness to unspeakable JOY.
Life. Abundant and overflowing. Life.
Comments 35
Beautiful post
Pretty much of how I felt when I lost my parents, i was 25 when I had to make the decision of her wish of no life support & 38 when my father died in the ems truck & he didn’t die alone I was there.
Beautifully written. I’m going through that grief now. My daughter died on January first after a 5 year battle with stage 4 cancer. I’m comforted that she is with Jesus and no longer suffering. But it is still hard. Thank you for sharing.
Similar experience to mine. My dad died of cancer after being miserable for almost a year. He passed away at home with hospice and my mom taking care of him. Ten years later my mom got sick. When the Dr told her she had b cell lymphoma, I went to Kalispell, Montana to take care of her with the help of hospice. A week later she passed in the same room that my dad did. Now, at 71, I find myself thinking of my last time here on earth. I’ll keep working for the Lord, teaching Sunday school and playing piano at church, as long as He gives me the strength. But when He calls me home, O What a Day that Will Be. So thankful for my salvation and having a personal relationship with my Saviour.
Sending you a virtual hug.
Boy can I relate. My husband John passed away 04 Oct. 2023 after dealing with colon /rectal cancer for six years. We had been married for 58 years. Never once did he say, “why me?” His stamina went up and down. He was cancer free for a while and then it all came back with vengeance. He would always tell the medical staff, “God’s in control here.” He was in and out of the hospital. Our doctor told us that he would not discharge him anymore, but he could go home for a few days if he wanted. John turned his hospital bed into a pulpit and shared his faith with those who came to see him as well as the medical staff. He knew his eternity was secure. He grew up in a family that sang, and singing we did. His room was always filled with music and song. On the afternoon of 04 Oct. we were singing Because He lives, and on the last verse as we sang, “and when I cross the Jordan….” John slipped away to glory. The nurse that was in the room with us, said she could also feel God presences, waiting to carry one of His sons “home.” It was a holy moment, but a wonderful moment. His funeral was a real celebration of who the Lord was in his life . The singing was wonderful – John’s favorites. Yes, he is missed, but I know I will see him again.
That says it all
Thank you for the beautiful true words and reminding me of God’s everlasting love. I lost my son in 2018 to a drug overdose. I thank God that he got saved and was trying to overcome his addiction. He just wasn’t strong enough and thought he could handle one more time but unfortunately, the heroine was laced with a deadly dose of Fentanyl and even the Narcan could not bring him back. I know God saved him but I wanted him to also live but God knew what was best for him.
I’m sitting beside my husband. He is in Hospice here at home. Just 2 1/2 weeks ago he was using a walker, weak but able to communicate, eat and was “with us”. All that has changed drastically. I certainly understand what you shared. I really thought he was leaving last night…. Breath…. Pause…. Breath. I felt overwhelmed and called a prayer line. The dear African lady just kept repeating over and over, “God is your Father. His power is great and His mercies are eternal” (maybe 20 times)… it was strange but the tears subsided and I was gradually filled with a peace and fortitude to go on. He is still here this morning, breathing and sleeping peacefully. I want to face his homegoing with gratitude for our time together. I’m leaning into the joy of the Lord (strength) and His perfect love (casting out fear).
Perhaps you didn’t understand why you felt compelled to write such a vulnerable newsletter… perhaps you will now know you gave comfort to another. Thank you
I’m sitting beside my husband. He is in Hospice here at home. Just 2 1/2 weeks ago he was using a walker, weak but able to communicate, eat and was “with us”. All that has changed drastically. I certainly understand what you shared. I really thought he was leaving last night…. Breath…. Pause…. Breath. I felt overwhelmed and called a prayer line. The dear African lady just kept repeating over and over, “God is your Father. His power is great and His mercies are eternal” (maybe 20 times)… it was strange but the tears subsided and I was gradually filled with a peace and fortitude to go on. He is still here this morning, breathing and sleeping peacefully. I want to face his homegoing with gratitude for our time together. I’m leaning into the joy of the Lord (strength) and His perfect love (casting out fear).
Perhaps you didn’t understand why you felt compelled to write such a vulnerable newsletter… perhaps you will now know you gave comfort to another. Thank you
I too know that beast named grief. My beloved husband of 61 years passed last January. He had an experience similar to your father’s with a long hospitalization, then home for a short period & then back to the hospital & then gone the day he was to go into hospice. Like your father he is with the Lord of this I’m sure. At the same time my brother was diagnosed with stage 4 bone cancer. My sisters & I took care of him as his disease progressed. He passed last November 1st. Two great losses within months of each other, so to say grief is a gut wrenching beast is putting it mildly. They were both believers, so I have peace knowing they are with Christ, that is the upside of this beastly grief. May our loving God continue to bless us with his peace as we continues on this journey through this valley.
Thank you so much for reaching out to me. It was perfect timing for me. As a senior your words today, “Life and Death-Your Choice”, have given me much to think about.
Lately I’ve been thinking about what my last days are going to be like. And what all I should be doing ‘now’ in preparation.
As I do a lot of reading, your books are a blessing to me for hope, love and understanding. As well as encouragement to do what I should be doing. Thank you.
I am so sorry for your loss. I understand exactly where you are coming from. It finally gets easier but the missing them never goes away. Sending hugs and prayers!
A beautiful and heartfelt post, Kimberley.
Hugs to you.
I live across the street from your mom. I didn’t know her then. I was kinda new to the neighborhood and I had not met her yet. My husband passed away on Jan. 27, 2023. We saw an ambulance come to their house and prayed that he would be ok not knowing my husband would be called home on that Friday morning the 27th.
We never know how much time we have with our loved ones we need to cherish the time we have with them. My husband and I were married for 50 years, high school sweethearts, 50 years wasn’t long enough. God had a plan as he always does, you see my husband almost died 10 months earlier. He had been at Emory Hospital in Atlanta, (heart issues) when started improving my daughter was able to convince him to move so we would be close to her in case something else happened. He agreed, a house became available two streets over from and we moved in four months time. There is no doubt in my mind that God had his hand in this. He knew he was calling my husband of 50 years home and I needed to be surrounded by loving neighbors and family. I have since met your mom and fell in love with her. She started a bible study a couple of months back. I wish I could have met your dad before he got sick, he sounded like a lovely person. I know it’s hard and we miss them so much but knowing they are with God and we will see them again one day gives us peace. Prayers for you because I know how hard this is. You take care and may God Bless your daughter and that grandbaby that’s on the way.
Praying for you for peace as you remember the good times with your dad on this “anniversary”.
Hooray…I needed that!
Beautiful! Thank you for sharing. God bless you. I know you will see your father and your Father together again someday! Blessed assurance.
Thank you for your beautiful newsletter. I went through a similar situation with both my parents, and you are right! No matter how prepared you think you are, the grief is still overwhelming at times. Yet, if I asked either of my parents if they wanted to come back to earth, I know their answer would be a resounding “NO!” Being freed from broken down bodies and minds with dementia, unable to eat food because they no longer know how to swallow…I would not ask them to give up their new life with Christ! I know I will see them again one day when the Lord says my time is up. Until then, I have to keep encouraging others to let the love of Christ into their hearts and have that same eternal salvation ❤️.
So well written and the analogy fits so well.We just had a nephew who went on a respirator on Friday and passes into eternity on Sunday. I plan to share your story with my sister-in law.
Thank you so much, Kimberley, for that eternal viewpoint. I just lost my 82-yr old brother 3 weeks ago. He had just gone into the hospital to have a heart valve repaired, but they had to replace it, after many hours of surgery. They kept him on a ventilator for almost a month, before they decided to take him off the ventilator and put him in Hospice. He died 2 days later. All our family is still trying to cope with his being gone, and we know that he is with the Lord – hallelujah! But like you say, it is hard to get through the grief experience. So thanks for the Friday to Sunday perspective to remind me and my loved ones that there is an eternal goal! And JOY, knowing he is there with his Lord!
Thank you sharing your heart.
Well said. I spent 3 months with my mom, and the remnants of our siblings 4, I helped everyday as she was declining. So as a treat 3 of the siblings had come together to see here as she was in a facility 2 months after I went home to my family and job. We siblings gather children and got there. She didn’t but we could see she was listening to all of our doings. I week to the day she went home too.
It is so hard to lose a parent! I have lost both of mine, so I know what you have been through. My daddy went last. He was a hundred years old and after his birthday, he was ready to go home to be with our Heavenly Father and Mama. I wasn’t ready for him to go and I was the only one of us kids that wasn’t with him. That is what hurts so much. I was a Daddy’s girl. I know that when it is my time to go that I will see them again. That doesn’t ease the grief of the ones left behind. We found out at his funeral that when he was a boy an angel appeared to him and told him that he would like to be a hundred. He never told any of us this but he told a nurse at the home where he was living.
Thank you so much for this.My husband died last November and I am struggling to go on.We were together 52 years and married 51 and barely apart for anything.My house is so quiet without him.I know he’s in a better place and with our son Aaron who died 25 years ago.He suffered with Parkinson’s disease for about 30 years.Thank you so much as what you said helped me more than you’ll ever know.
I love this. Losing a parent is so hard, especially when they are so loved and have loved their family so well. I was blessed and so after more than five years for one and two years for the other, I still find myself wanting to call and ask them something or just plain miss them. I am thankful they are with Jesus and He is loving them better than I ever could here on earth.
The hardest thing I’ve ever done was to get down on my knees and pray to God to take my father out of his darkness. He had suffered a massive stroke and was confined to bed for the rest of his days. He told me he felt like a piece of garbage that should be thrown out. Two years later, my father went to his eternal reward. During those two years God showed me the answer to a question I had struggled with my entire adult life. “Why couldn’t I have children?” The answer, God knew my family would need me during this time and he made it possible for me to do everything that needed to be done. My brother with four children could not be there to help my mother get him out of bed, to help him into the car and take him out for ice cream, to sit next to him and help him eat his ice cream, to provide respite care when my mom needed a break. My brother’s children had scheduled school events, sporting events, social engagements, and all of those things kids require in their pre-teen and teen years. I, with no children, could provide whatever was needed to support my parents including managing their daily finances. When the day came, I held my father’s hand and told him it was time to get out of that bed. An hour later, he was HOME. The grief is real. The pain is real. The celebration is also real. I’m very sorry to learn of your father’s passing. I also join in the celebration of reaching his eternal reward. We don’t always understand His plan or His timing, but we must trust it. That’s what faith is.
Thanks for sharing. Praying for you and family. So glad to be in the same grow group on Monday nights with your Mother. Also same Ladies Sunday school class.
Jane Bowdle
I am living in this limbo for a while. My oldest brother had back surgery and was in the hospital for an extended recovery. The week he came home my SIL ( his wife) was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer the removed several tumors but there was a very large one on the back of her stomach that was inoperable. She is on a feeding tube and Drs say she has 1-2 months to live. My youngest brother passed out and was taken to the hospital with a heart rate in the 20s. They implanted a pace maker, but the top half his heart is according to the Drs “acting like it is dead” they are hoping that the top of heart will start to work again.
My mom got her wings on my birthday January 28. That’s the way I’m going to remember my birthday from now on. She had a brain bleed from her blood getting too thin. She needed the blood thinner because she had a pacemaker and A-Fib. They had to take her off the blood thinner because the brain bleed would definitely be the end for her. She knew that she had to risk having a stroke without it. Sure enough in a few days she started having mini strokes. When she had several she got where she couldn’t eat or swallow her meds. We took her home on hospice December 28th and she passed away on January 28. She knew she was going home for the end of her life but she said she had peace. She’s told us many times she was ready when God was ready. She was 88. We all miss her already but I take comfort from the fact I know she’s not hurting. She had lived for God all her life for this moment.
Thank you for sharing. Thank you for including the Friday to Sunday story of what Jesus did for us. I too am grieving. I lost my mom July 2022 and my husband March 2023. I am not sure I will ever be okay again. Only through my faith in the Lord have I made it thus far. Ale care.
Thank you for taking time to write such beautiful word’s. I am so sorry the loss of your father. My father had a sudden stroke then died in the ER. My husband & I
rushed to be with him not knowing it was the end. The shock of walking out without him .. Literally has taken year’s to come to grip that he is not here. He became a dad to my husband. I know he us ‘Home’ with his family💗 Generations of our family went to Catholic school, we are well versed on what is expected of us, where we are going.. 😉. But the physical loss when you have a close relationship, then- nothing, you go to call them, to share with them😥 a lifetime of doing..
We are blessed having each other, married over 45years.
As parents all pass on.
Thank you for your touching words.
Kathy
I’m so sorry for your loss. The whole time I was reading this post, I thought of the song “Home” by Chris Tomlin.
I have lost both my Papa and cousin from cancer. God’s love and this Friday to Sunday mentality helped me get through losing them.
Beautiful. My friend’s sister who was terminally ill also told my friend she wanted to go home. At the time, my friend thought she meant back to her house. She knows now that she meant home home. ❤️