Don’t Try This At Home…

The Sunday before Christmas, I attempted a feat only I would dare try.

Skiing down the stairs.

On my shin.

It didn’t work. And it hurt.

Thus, the title of this blog…

Anyway, the REAL story is this (albeit much less glamorous) :
Sunday night after church, my friend (loyal and true) Carrie came over. I was still in my dressy outfit from the cantata that night. (Mistake #1)

After we caught up and had a good ol’ heart-to-heart, I asked if she wanted to see how we’d rearranged all the rooms in the basement. (Mistake #2 – not that asking her was a mistake, I love Carrie dearly, but it was definitely too late at night and my pants were entirely too dressy…)

At the top of the stairs, I realized a dilemma. I normally wore four-inch heels with these particular pants. Why? Well, One – the incredibly cute and dressy pants demand that kind of footwear, and Two – my legs are just too stinkin’ short. Anyway, back to the story – Carrie headed down the stairs first, and me and my big mouth and dressy, dressy pants started our descent. I said, “Watch me trip on my pants and fall down the stairs…” (Mistake #3)

Truer words have never been spoken.

And I fell.
It wasn’t glamorous. It wasn’t graceful. It wasn’t even pretty.
But Carrie’s football stance at the bottom of the stairs was all of the above. I wish I had a picture of her face. It was priceless.
And I treasure her even more as a friend. Carrie is no frail chick who danced around saying, “oh my goodess!” – she didn’t even try to save her own skin and jump out of the way of “skiing Kim” as I hurtled down the wood stairs – no, this girl stuck out her own neck, ready to take the blow so she could stop my momemtum-building fall.
That’s a friend, people. Just sayin’.

And me? Well, my leg is grotesque to put it mildly. The bruising and coloring just get better and better each day. 🙂

Sweet hubby has patched up the wall-(oh, by the way, did I mention that my knee punched a large hole in the sheet rock?), and I’ve learned valuable lessons. Things like:
-wear shin guards every time I head down the stairs
-never, NEVER say I’m going to fall-Even if I’m joking
-never wear the cute, dressy pants without the appropriate footwear
-grow longer legs

And for all of you who demanded a picture – well, here it is. This is three days after. I almost took another one today, but I’m afraid of scaring small children… and the elderly… So… just imagine it about ten times worse – That’s what it looks like now. Hopefully in about a month, maybe it will be gone.

Comments 5

  1. Yee-ouch! Girl, you're made of tougher stuff than I am, because all it took was a little uneven ground for me to break both bones in my ankle. Had there been stairs involved—I don't even want to imagine.

    Heal up quickly!

  2. Oh my gosh! Are you okay?
    I have to agree with Chris though, this post was hilerious, I laughed and laughed.
    I can't imagine ten times worse. We'll definitely be praying. Can you walk?
    Mary

  3. Chris – seriously, I considered buying several packs of shin guards. And full football-gear. 🙂

    Kaye – Thanks, girl. I remember your blogs about your leg! Ugh, poor thing – I'm just so thankful that nothing was broken. I was really quite surprised I was in one piece when I hit bottom. 🙂

    Mary – yes, thankfully, I've been able to walk since it happened. But wow, is it sore! And it looks just… disgusting.

    Thanks for stopping by – and laughing along with me 😉

  4. First – let me say I'm thankful that you weren't hurt worse.
    Second – I'm glad you were blessed with such a good friend.
    Third – even when describing what would be a "normal" incident, you have such a gift with words that it brings an instant picture to mind and I have to confess, a chuckle as I imagined you skiing downstairs!

    Blessings to you (and wrap yourself in bubble wrap!)~
    Beverly

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