So many things hold us back in life. Or should I say, give us the excuse to hold ourselves back… ?? Sometimes that’s true. Lately, for me… yes, that’s true. And in so many ways.

First, I’m just going to say it… I’ve had a stalker. Who was in prison. And now they are not. Let me tell you… that changed my perspective a lot. It’s been a couple years now, but when I first received a letter from this person– this avid reader– well, it was weird. I went through a gamut of emotions over the next several weeks. The sheriff was called, the prison was called, my friends were called… you get the picture. But it didn’t change the fact that it happened. Nothing made me feel “safe” other than knowing in Whose hands I’m held. I backed off of a LOT. Most people just thought I was busy (which was true) or that I had deadlines that had to be met (also true) so I needed to back out of a lot of things. Few people knew the truth.

In this great big world in which we now have the internet and social media – it’s actually become pretty small. Things can get around fast. True or not. (I’ve heard some interesting stories about myself that I didn’t even know – ha!) And so, I became even more private. Every time I sat down to blog, it was easier to walk away and not put myself out there. Because I now had the excuse of a stalker, right?  (Last summer I wrote a post trying to express it, but it couldn’t capture all of it – Where Have You Been?)

But then, this past September, a huge tremor shook our church family. We lost a beautiful young girl in an instant. It has been a different world to me ever since. I’ve written probably fifteen blog posts about this incredible teen – Cassidy. But I’ve held back from posting them every time. Why? I don’t know. Possibly because they were too raw, they were a way for me to begin to heal through fleshing out my feelings, or they were just too personal and it hurt too much. Whatever the reason, it doesn’t matter. What does matter is that Cassidy left a legacy that is continuing to change lives today. Her light is still shining, because it’s a REAL light. From the SOURCE Himself.

As we had a nice snow storm this week, I’ve spent a lot of time looking out my office window onto the brilliant, white snow. It’s been blinding at times as it glitters and shines in the light of the sun. And as it was blown around by the strong wind, I was fascinated by the snow sculptures of God Almighty. The snow is beautiful. Clean. Bright. But it’s not always in a perfect, smooth dusting. Many times it comes in icy sheets and ends up looking like waves in the drifts created. It made me think of all my expectations, all my fear, all my – dare I say it? – excuses.

My point? God has the master plan. Not me. Even if I had wanted to create the magnificent snow drifts in my back yard – I couldn’t have done it. If I go out and try to create a snowman, he still never ends up like I envision 🙂

All this rambling tonight  has a point. (Well, at least in my mind it does, so bear with me.) You see, I’ve had the awesome privilege to have my own little superhero – Cassidy. Her life has inspired me in so many ways and I long to have known her better, to have had more time with her. But through it all, one startling thought is very clear: No matter what excuses I may have – I don’t know how much time I have. And like Cassidy, I want to be shining my light for HIM each and every day.

That’s a superhero I want to be like.