This post is actually from back in February. I’ve had a bunch of you ask to see it again – or to let the new readership see it, if they hadn’t already. I was reminded of it again as Holly and I trekked out to Safeway last night. Only problem now, people recognize us everywhere we go… and my goal in life is really not to scare anyone (well, maybe the people who tried to climb my fence to take pictures of us at 3 a.m. – but definitely not any of YOU guys!)

So… enjoy. Between this post and “Turkey Diving” – I will have either made you laugh (hopefully) a lot, OR scared you into never entering the same grocery store as me… ever again.

Clean Up On Aisle Two!!
If you know much about my story, you know that I don’t get out much. I have a daughter who doesn’t sweat and I need to keep her in a regulated temperature all the time. Anyway, grocery shopping has become one of my favorite times. And it’s not because I need social interaction and I choose the grocery store for that interaction — No. It’s because Holly (and Katie too) and I have had some of the best adventures ‘doing the grocery shopping’.

Little sidenote here: I have a wacky sense of humor (I am a creative person, you know) – so feel free to imagine the sound effects… or whatever makes you laugh 🙂

On this particular trip – we were headed to Safeway. It was really close to our house and a Friday night, pretty late, because that’s always more fun (actually, it was because Holly had just finished her late shift at work – but, it sounds better – and we always have fun, no matter what – again, I’m rabbit trail-ing).

Another sidenote: Holly and I are not known for being quiet… especially when together… especially in the grocery store… or ANY store for that matter.

We walked in and worked our way down the list. On the “soup aisle”- as we lovingly call it- Holly (in a voice much like the wicked witch in the Wizard of Oz when she’s melting) said, “I’m surrounded in a sea of soup! Canned soup, and boxed soup, and powdered soup…. AAAAAHHHHH!” Chiming in, I replied, “Look away Holly, look away!” And then… some poor guy who was supposed to be stocking that aisle looked at us really weird. (Imagine that!)

Holly and I cracked up laughing. And I mean, we lost it. I told her to stop scaring the poor people in the store and attempted to keep a straight face. It didn’t work. I was laughing so hard, I couldn’t see — the tears were blinding me. There I was, in the store, leaning over the cart because I was laughing so hard and then, there crouched Holly… crossing her legs, doing some weird, I-can’t-take-it-anymore dance.

At this point, I don’t think she can see either. Her face is all red, she has tears streaming down her face and she’s laughing so hard, she can’t breathe.

“Don’t make me laugh,” she giggled. “I’m going to wet my pants!”

Me, being the loving, kind and generous friend that I am, started walking down the aisle yelling, “CLEAN UP ON AISLE TWO! CLEAN UP ON AISLE TWO!”

She laughed harder.

And then, I heard a “SMACK” on the floor. Worried that she hurt herself, I whirled the cart around and found her sprawled in the middle of the floor, laughing hysterically, pointing up at the aisle sign.

“What?” I asked her.

“WE– are on aisle two!” And then, the crazy, half-crying-because-we’re-laughing-so-hard started again.

“Exactly!” I responded.

Several store employees casually glanced down the “soup aisle”. I began to worry that we would soon be kicked out of the store. Thankfully, we were not… but, we did attempt to behave the rest of that trip. (Personally, I think we added a little life to that dull Friday night – and of course, I had Holly with me–and she’s really cute–so that had to count for something!) 🙂

There are days that I feel sorry for the poor people at Wal-Mart and Safeway and Vitamin Cottage that have to put up with our antics… but, it doesn’t last long. 🙂

And on a final sidenote: you may be wondering if this is “normal” for us. Yes, sad to say… but, yes. Ask me next time about the time I scared the poor guy on the “light bulb aisle”, the endless search for paint brushes, buying the entire stock of snap peas and asking them to ‘check the back’ if there were any more, or the episode of the “runaway cart”. There’s plenty more… oh my goodness – you can’t leave out turkey diving either… (That’s a whole ‘nother blog in itself)

I think Holly and I will head out to the store…