Fickle Monsters

How do you pray when a 200+ mile-long tornado is headed straight at you? This isn’t a rhetorical question. It’s the one I wrestled with on December 11 as my husband and I huddled in our basement bathroom waiting on the deadliest tornado in Kentucky history to arrive.

We already knew about tornadoes from our time in Oklahoma. We knew that a “watch” is different than a “warning” and that a “warning” is very, very different than an “emergency.” Watches and warning mean conditions are ripe for tornadic activity. An emergency means there’s one on the ground. So when the sirens go off, stop whatever you’re doing. Find an interior room with no windows. Get low. Cover your head. And then pray.

I’m an army wife. I’m used to having no control over my future. Or so I thought. There’s nothing like a tornado emergency to clarify just how out of control you are.

Tornadoes are fickle monsters. They head straight then veer left. They lift off the ground for a moment then slam back down with deadly force. If you’ve seen pictures from Mayfield and Bowling Green, KY, or from other areas where the tornadoes ripped through towns, you’ve seen one house standing twenty feet from one reduced to rubble.

Like I said, fickle monsters.

So how do you pray when it’s a tornado emergency, it’s been on the ground for a long time with no information about whether it’s breaking up, and it’s on a path headed straight at you? Of course you pray for it to break up–for it to retract into the angry thunderstorm lighting its path. But what if God says no to that? Do you ask Him to send it somewhere else knowing the destruction it will wreak on your neighbors? Or do you ask for it to hit you instead? Do you pray for death rather than injury–because although you’d like to see your grandkids grow up, at least you know where you’re going when you die. But to be trapped alive or horribly injured…

There are times when having an author’s imagination is NOT good!

In the end, I prayed for God’s will to be done and for the strength to handle whatever He allowed to come my way. And to be frank, it didn’t come from some super spiritual place. It came from my helplessness.

I mean, really. What else was I supposed to pray?

What Becca Left Behind…

Remember that your Woodhouse family loves you…

By now, you all know that Becca and I are VERY close. We’ve spent more than a decade as the best of friends and have SO many memories to share. It’s really quite a joy.

But this last weekend, Jeremy and I were at a couple’s retreat for our church and Becca and Nathan joined us. Yesterday, I got a text from Becca that her pillow had been left behind. (I won’t say who was responsible for the pillow, because there’s no blame here. <cough, cough, Nathan> LOL)

Hubby and I had already left, so I asked her if she wanted me to call about it. Her response? “Just another ‘Becca and Nathan left a piece of themselves behind’ story.”

So I should probably tell y’all the story. And explain the pictures of a cord with labels.

When Becca and I first met, Nathan was deployed. Y’all know that story already. Well, during that deployment, all kinds of crazy stuff happened to the house they were renting. So Becca spent a lot of time with us. (Hopefully some of it was because she wanted to be there not just because life had dealt her yet another disaster, but I’ll let her answer that one.) Every time she left us to go home, she ended up leaving something behind.

Her shoes.

Her keys.

Her laundry.

Her cell phone.

Her purse.

It became quite the inside joke and we would tease her every time she headed toward the door. “Becca do you have your shoes? Your keys? Your phone? Your laundry?”

Years passed and our friendship grew. They were stationed elsewhere and we moved to another town for ministry. She and Nathan came to visit.

When their visit with us was over and they headed out, we went through the obligatory list.

But this time? Nathan left his laptop.

Becca came to visit again by herself and–you guessed it–when she was preparing to leave, we all checked everywhere. Asked the long list of “do you have” – and guess what? She left a charging cord. That’s the cord pictured. So Kayla came up with a great idea that we should “label” it before we sent it back. So we did. Let’s just say, we got a little extra happy with the labels. One said, “yes, Becca, this is your cord” another said, “do you have your laundry?” etc etc etc.

Labels of Love…

But the story isn’t complete just talking about the cute, inside Woodhouse/Whitham family joke.

You see, every time I get the opportunity to see Becca and Nathan, I’m impressed with how precious they are to us. Not just because they’re now officially family. Not just because our friendship runs deep.

But because Becca (Nathan too) leave(s) behind joy, love, and laughter wherever they go. Every time we’re together, I’m infused with something good/new/refreshing/fun.

So – Becca – you don’t just leave your shoes, laundry, cords, and pillows. You bless all who know you with the beautiful little pieces of your heart that you leave behind.

I cherish that about you.

Until Next Time,

Kimberley

Why is His Nickname CJ?

Well…it happened this morning. Nathan James Whitham joined the world, weighing in at a healthy 7lbs, 13oz. Kim and I are officially grandmas together.

Our kids, Nathan’s parents, have asked that we not post pictures on social media, but trust me. He’s perfect. He has sweet little cheeks and his mouth was “going” within minutes of his birth. Yep! That’s a Whitham boy for ya! It won’t be long before their food budget has doubled just to feed him. (Fun side note: If you’ve purchased Kim’s latest book, Bridge of Gold, you’ll see in the dedication that she included some true stories of Steven and Kayla. One of them is that, after making his first grocery shopping run for himself, Steven called to apologize for how much food he ate.)

Which leads into why Nathan James’ nickname is CJ. It’s food related.

My last name is Whitham. Not Whitman or Wittum or any of the other ways people have mispronounced or misprinted it. It was quite an adjustment for a girl who grew up as a Smith. One of the ways we try–TRY–to get people to understand that it’s not Whitman is to say, “It’s sortof like With Ham.” Really, it’s pronounced WIT-um, but whatever. At least we can get our legal documents in the right name.

Anyway, months before we knew whether Baby Whitham was a girl or a boy, we had a family text string that was suggesting names. My husband mentioned something about a new generation having to deal with a mispronounced/misspelled name, and suddenly we were off on cheese names because they went with ham.

Brie. Monty Rey. Grey Ted. Rick Otto. You get the idea.

I’m betting many of you have already figured out CJ, but just in case, the big winner was Colby Jack. And then to have his delivery scheduled on National Cheese Day? Way too funny! We told Steven and Kayla it wasn’t too late to change the baby’s name.

Really, it’s only Kim’s husband who calls the baby CJ, claiming it as his grandpa privilege. And to reinforce it, he brought a brick of Colby Jack cheese to the hospital this morning.

I’m pretty sure that will make it into a book someday, too.

A Mother’s Love

I had to choose whether to be a mom and grandmother today or to be a daughter. I chose to be a daughter. But the reason put me in a reflective mood about all the moms in my life…one of whom is Kim.

Let me back up so you have some context. As most of you know, my husband is in the military. We move all over the country, sometimes closer to family and sometimes farther away. These past two years, we’ve been in Washington State about twenty minutes away from the town where I grew up and where my parents still live. They are both in their eighties, and my dad is becoming frail. We’re set to move again, this time to Kentucky. We planned to celebrate Mother’s Day with them, our daughter, son-in-law, and granddaughter about 90 minutes away.

But our daughter’s family came down with colds on Friday. Even though it wasn’t COVID, we didn’t feel right exposing my parents–my father in particular–to illness. So I had to choose. Was I going to celebrate with my daughter and granddaughter or with my mom? I chose my mom. Presumably (or as my grandmother used to say, “God willing and the creek don’t rise.”), I will have plenty more opportunities to celebrate with my daughter. The ones with my mom are likely more limited. No one knows the future, of course, except God. My grandmother also used to say, “God only knows…and He ain’t tellin’.”

Moms are incredibly important people. So are dads, but we’ll get to them next month. And as your kids get older and start to look for spouses, one of the things you pray for is someone who was raised by a mom who modeled good parenting. I’m so fortunate that my kids have two, fabulous mothers-in-law: Kim and Karen.

And then comes the grandmother phase. I’ve watched the bond between my kids and their grandparents grow. My mom gets away with saying things I never could. She’s mothered my kids on many occasions, sometimes better than I could have. Grandparents play a special role in a child’s life! So trusting your grandkids to their other grandparents is not something to be taken for granted. Again, I get to share grandma duties with Kim and Karen. I’m moving away from my granddaughter and trusting Karen to spoil my little girl in my absence. I’m moving closer to my son but not nearly close enough to celebrate as many milestones in our grandson’s life as Kim will get.

No one likes missing out, but there’s great comfort in knowing that your kids and grandkids have mothers-in-law and grandmothers who are wonderful examples of Godly faith and earthly love.

Grand New Adventure, Part 1

Kim and I have been sitting on some news! It’s been shared on other platforms, so some of you might already be aware of this…

We’re going to be grandparents!!

This will be our second – our daughter had a daughter about a year ago – but our first grandson. Yep. It’s a BOY! So, at least for now, I get to have a favorite granddaughter and a favorite grandson, while Kim can have a favorite grandchild. We are over the moon excited for Steven and Kayla and for us!

One of my favorite stories about Kim has always been her love of Dr. Pepper, which meant she made sure I visited the Dr. Pepper Museum almost as soon as we became friends. By the way, drinking Dr. Pepper on tap is way better than in the cans. Kim also introduced me to moon pies while we were there. Can you say sugar overload?

But back to Dr. Pepper…

When Kim was pregnant, she had terrible morning sickness. Dr. Pepper was the only thing she could keep down. This is a funny story when you’re twelve years down the road with two, beautiful, healthy, smart kids. It’s not so fun when your daughter-in-love gets pregnant and has icky morning sickness. Fortunately, hers hasn’t been as bad as Kim’s was.

I was much luckier in that department. I had a few days of ickiness but it cleared up within a couple weeks. My best nauseous story was when Steven was just over a year old. I was pregnant with his sister and we were traveling to see my sister in New York for Christmas. My husband didn’t have enough time off, so I was travelling alone.

I should NEVER travel alone.

My plane got stuck in Denver when a blizzard blew in. I was there for 68 hours, had to beg the airline folks to get my suitcase so I had enough diapers, held my 1 yr. old while he slept and I stayed up all night sitting on those wavy chairs. By the third morning, I was nauseous and tired and ready to cry. I walked into the bathroom to change Steven’s diaper, and a woman was smoking–the sign saying smoking was prohibited in the bathroom right behind her! I asked her to put out the cigarette as I’m allergic to the smoke. She fired back, “Well, I’m allergic to baby’s butts!”

Now…here’s the thing…I’m about the most passive person on the planet. I hate confrontation, but that lit my fuse! I looked at that woman and shouted–SHOUTED–“Maybe, but baby’s butts aren’t prohibited by law in a bathroom!”

She left. I breathed easier. But my heart was pounding for a full five minutes.

I don’t know if it was the Mama Bear coming out to roar, the exhaustion, or the fact that I was trying not to puke, but I’ve never gotten that angry in public. Never before and never since (so far, at least).

What about you? Have you ever lost it in public?

We finally made it to New York where my sister pampered me and let me throw up in her bathroom. It was not my favorite trip, so if you ever see me, just ask about my time in the Denver airport. But only if you have a good half hour to hear the whole story!

Big and Small Decisions – Part 2

First – we want to wish you all a very HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! We are cheering for 2021 big time, aren’t you? Before I continue, I should probably warn you that I’m about to move across the country and I’m in the middle of editing A Deep Divide which releases in October, so my brain is just a little fried. (In other words, be prepared for random thoughts…)

Anyway, Becca and I had a fun conversation when she was here for Thanksgiving about how big and small decisions impact our lives. (If you haven’t read Becca’s post about it – make sure you go back and read it)

To continue with her beautiful train of thought, I wanted to share a little decision that became a huge decision that became life-changing.

Back in 2019 (that sounds like it was a century ago, doesn’t it?) Becca and I had the chance to get together several times for some great writer events. It was amazing that we were both back in the same region of the country again (her hubby is an army Chaplain, and my hubby is a Pastor – so the Lord has often called/moved us all) and we were only a day’s drive away from each other, so Becca invited us to come out and visit around Christmas. I wasn’t sure Jeremy would be able to get away with all the church stuff during the season, so our initial plan was flexible. (And yes, before you even ask, Becca and I *did* have a short conversation about “what if” our kids met again and hit it off… but I’ll come back to that later)

Sooooo… Christmas approached. We were all really excited about the visit. But I had a deadline fast approaching and Kayla and Jeremy both came down with colds. They were pretty miserable for a few days and we were supposed to be leaving very soon to head to Becca and Nathan’s. Our sweet friends had reserved us a great hotel for all of us to stay in and everything. But…I have to admit, I began to doubt. I didn’t want Jeremy and Kayla to be miserable on a trip. I knew Jeremy was exhausted from all he’d had going on. And of course, I was overwhelmed by all I had to do.

I went to talk to Jeremy about this – and laid out all the things I was worried about. “Should we take the trip?”

In my mind, I was thinking that he wouldn’t want to go. Becca and I have pretty much done anything and everything to be able to see one another and hang out, but I didn’t want to be selfish. It had been hard to see Kayla and Jeremy be so miserable with their colds, but at least they were feeling a bit better. But you know how it is when you’re a mom. You worry and fret about everyone and then worry about making the correct choice.

Jeremy though was quick to make the decision. He said, “Let’s go.”

And so we went.

Best. Trip. Ever.

Why? Well, Steven was visiting his parents for Christmas and was still there when we arrived. We had a blast playing games, eating, watching movies, and just hanging out as families that had been good friends for almost a decade.

And wouldn’t you know? A few weeks later, Steven and Kayla started dating.

In July, they were married.

Then in October, we were all on Skype together (Becca, Nathan, me, Jeremy, Steven and Kayla) when our kids shared the glorious news that in June we will get to meet the newest member to the family. (Yay for grandbabies!!!!!)

You see? Because I was worried and didn’t want to be selfish, I almost made a little decision about not going to see our precious friends. Even though Becca and I as authors would love to take credit for orchestrating this amazing romance, we can’t. I need to give credit to my husband. Granted, he didn’t match-make or orchestrate anything. But he said two little words that made it all happen. “Let’s go.”

And in all actuality, it was a bunch of little decisions that became a big decision that became life-changing.

Becca and I planned to get together.
Nathan and Becca made sure we had a place to stay.
Steven flew from NY to WA to see his parents.
Kayla came home from seminary for Christmas break.
The Woodhouses drove from MT to WA to see the Whithams.

The rest–as they say–is history.

Boy… am I ever thankful for our friends and for my husband making that little decision.

LOVE and FAMILY. They’re beautiful, aren’t they?

Big and Small Decisions

Kim and I were chatting last night (I’m in Montana for Thanksgiving), and the conversation moved to how we’ve seen God’s hand through 2020 in both big and small ways. That generated a look even farther back, specifically the big and small decisions which culminated in us meeting and eventually brought our kids together. It’s hard to imagine that, at this time last year, Steven and Kayla weren’t a couple. In fact, they were weeks away from seeing each other again and starting their unique love story.

But it all started back in 2009 with a big decision followed by a little one in 2010.

For those of you that don’t know my story, my husband joined the army as a chaplain at the ripe old age of 46. Big decision. We moved to Ft. Carson, Colorado in December of 2009 and the following June he deployed for a year. On his way out the door, he took my face in his hands and said, “This will not be a wasted year for us. You will—do you hear me—will do something about all those stories you’ve written over the years.”

I promised I would but, honestly, I had no clue how to even begin.

I made a little decision to go to a Chaplain Spouse’s Coffee. The army is big on spouse’s coffees. They’re ways for us to connect to others living this crazy army life. But at that particular coffee, I met a woman named Kathy Hurst. I told her about my husband’s mandate, and she responded with this: “I’m part of the American Christian Fiction Writer’s group. We’re having a local chapter meeting next Saturday. Would you like to go with me?”

Now for those of you that don’t know me, you have no idea how huge that was. I hate—H.A.T.E.—going to new places, particularly because I’m prone to get lost. Like really lost. The “can’t figure out where I am, how I got there, or how to get back” kind of lost. To have someone offer to drive me was a literal God-send.

Kim was the president of the local chapter at that time, and she was looking for help with an upcoming conference. I offered to help. She invited me to her home to discuss it. This month marks just over ten years since that fateful day.

It’s hard to imagine what life would be like had my husband not been obedient to God’s call to chaplain ministry or I hadn’t decided to buck up my courage and go meet a bunch of strangers.

Decisions. Big and small.

God is in them all.

Friends Don’t Let Friends Do Research Alone-Part 2

A panoramic view of the Grand Canyon

“Hey, what are you doing in _______?” The first time Kim asked me this question it was 2010. My husband was deployed so, even though it was for a retreat with real authors and I was only a couple months into thinking about thinking about pursuing this whole author thing, I said yes.

That first yes led to many, many more. Our latest was the Grand Canyon. I drove to Montana, then Kim drove us both from there to Arizona. We have so much fun together, long drives go by quickly as we chatter, brainstorm, and solve all the world’s problems.

If only people would listen to us!

The El Tovar Hotel at the rim of the Grand Canyon.

This trip will stand out to me for several reasons. First, it was the trip where I stopped biting my nails. After fifty-six+ years, I had long given up on that particular habit. COVID was only peeking through the door when we went, but with sanitizers and signs to wash hands in all the shops and hotels, I started picturing little viruses under my nails. It got me to stop biting long enough for Kim to slap nail strips on me and that changed everything. Second, we were having lunch at the El Tovar Restaurant when Kayla asked if I’d come for wedding dress shopping. See this post for more on that. Third–and probably most importantly–it gave us a chance to talk through how we planned to handle the in-law thing. We plan to still be friends after our kids have their first fight.

Fences are a great way to keep from falling in!!

Whenever I tell the story of how I became an author, it starts with Kim teaching me how to write for publication. A major part of that is how important it is to get your research right. Kim’s a stickler about that and made me one, too. A big part of that is visiting the place you’re writing about, not only because it helps you visualize your setting but because sometimes you find treasures. Let me tell you, she found several which are going to give her series that extra something special readers will love. What fun to join her on this research trip where all I had to do was take pictures and ask questions without any need to keep copious notes like Kim did.

Oh–and I was forced to eat delicious food while enjoying a spectacular view. Yeah. Life as Kim’s “research assistant” is rough sometimes.

Friends Don’t Let Friends Research Alone – Part 1

We’ve had so much fun launching The Author Moms that we wanted to make sure you got a front row seat to all that we have going on and all the escapades we’ve had.

For years, Becca and I have been dear friends. We’ve been critique partners. We’ve traveled, gone on book tours, gone to conferences, and researched together.

Earlier this year, I asked Becca if she would go with me on a research trip. You see, I’m thrilled that I have a new series coming out from Bethany House that takes place in 1905 at the beautiful El Tovar Hotel that sits on the rim of the Grand Canyon.

The timing seemed to be perfect. Becca’s daughter was due with her first child (which would be grandbaby #1 – woohoo!) several weeks later – so Becca said she could swing it for a few days so I didn’t have to go by myself.

That, people? Is friendship.

Here we are at the Grand Canyon. Let me tell you, I have what my kids call T-rex arms (they’re short – lol) and so trying to get a shot with both of us AND the massive Grand Canyon in the background was quite a feat. But we did it!

The Author Moms at the Grand Canyon

And we didn’t fall in! (I FaceTimed my parents a few times from there since they’d never seen the Grand Canyon… and one time my mom said, “don’t fall in!” – it gave us and several other tourists a good chuckle. One of the guys who heard it said, “You never stop being a mom.” Yep – that is so true. I’m sure I’ll be saying stuff like that to my adult kids for the rest of their lives too.)

Becca is more than just a friend. And she’s more than just family, too. She’s also a brilliant author and so when we were doing research, she knew exactly what I needed. She also came up with incredible questions to ask and ideas for me to pursue. She’s amazing and I’m so glad she walked into that writer’s meeting a decade ago so we could meet.

The research trip was fast and furious, but full of fun and TONS of pictures, notes, questions, and ideas.

Friends don’t let friends research alone.

About to have our first meal at The El Tovar restaurant. This dining room plays a major part in my stories since The Harvey Girls are so integral to the history here.

The Story of the Dress, Part 2

Kim and I were on a research trip at The Grand Canyon when Kayla called to say she was ready to go wedding dress shopping…and she wanted me to be there. You can’t know what that meant to me. You see, I missed dress shopping with my daughter. We just couldn’t find a time that fit her work schedule, my work schedule, and the dressmaker’s schedule. Instead, her future mother-in-law was with her that day, which is great, it just stung that I couldn’t be there.

So when Kayla asked me to be part of her dress shopping, I immediately got weepy. What a precious gift to be included.

Of course, this was in early March before COVID-19 shut down everything. Kim and I already had plans to go to Michigan and New York for book tour things. We were going to leave a couple days early, stay with Kayla for some shopping, and then do our author stuff. It all got cancelled. Sad, sad day!

Hm, I wonder what’s in this box.

See Kim’s post here for the account of how they ended up with an online shopping experience. What I appreciated was still being a part of dress shopping through Zoom.

One Friday, Kayla sent this picture along with a text message: Hm, I wonder what’s in this box. It was quickly followed by: Can we push off crit group today? I’m too excited to wait. I can’t speak for Kim, but I was too excited to wait as well.

I wish we all could have been in the same room, but doing it over Zoom wasn’t bad. Kayla’s friend was amazing. She helped Kayla into dresses, ran into the bedroom for jewelry, fluffed trains, and took pictures almost simultaneously. And after we’d oooh’ed and aaah’ed over all four dress choices, it was Brittany who said, “I think we need to look at one and two again because, you know, with that first one we were all caught up in seeing Kayla in a dress. Any dress.”

True.

So we looked at options 1 and 2 again and decided that #2 was the favorite for everyone.

I got weepy-eyed again. In part, it was the whole experience. But mostly…I think it was seeing the woman Kayla had become and imagining the look on my son’s face when he saw her in that beautiful dress.

The reality didn’t disappoint.